my airtel account is being its pirate self again...have gone through like 6 cards in a matter of weeks and really not talking that much. had the the most horrible party on friday...everybody just sat and looked at each other for boring hour after hour....so I vamoosed to next room, got progressively drunk while playing solataire and listening to mournful hindi tracks. after a while the world began spinning really fast and I curled into protective ball on bed trying to make it stop...first time I felt this sick by the way...
next day stabilsed over finishing hand-knit shawl which I wore the next friday for outlook pay and play party. if nothing else blessed be the boring continuity of my life....of course party was not the best place to be exibiting my knitting skills so generally flung skirt around the place, got groped by two people and laughed uproariously at A's chicken dance and S's swaying S move.
In cal now, with the worst still in front of me. feeling like maria outside the von trap house, so i shall twang belly up and rush in where fools fear to tread...and ask....why am I so scared?

self preservation kicks in
As of today I have RED hair...muhahaha...well not actually red but more streaks of red in my hair, and i look, i am pleased to report, nothing like original me. Though I ponder about the implications of doing this right before going to calcutta. Will they see this as the ultimate sign of "mei ta pagol ho gache" and thus deemimg me unfit to be left alone? Despite the fact that I have been contemplating going red since 2001? Debateable and we shall see. Actually going red has deep seated spiritual significance caused by sangha to scream "lay off" after I hugged her. Thus new resolution is that I won't a)hug everybody as I am wont too. b)I am finally over the "pleasing everyone" stage. Which means that a) That I will not get involved unless I am personally involved in anything going around me. b) I shall live in one room flat in CR Park come January for Rs.3500 and shall live for the first time, truly alone.

guess what i am....

Disorder Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low
URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

and am destined for -

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test


and more whose results weren't as interesting...
http://www.dutchfurs.com/~haze/islove/
http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=266

"English doesn't borrow from other languages. English follows other languages down dark alleys, hits them over the head, and goes through their pockets for loose vocabulary."